January 17, 2015

Spoiled Child

Kicking and thrashing against God as He holds me. This sense of feeling used and led on to a dead end has this spoiled child on a tantrum. 

God was showing me this morning that all the frustration I've been feeling, all the angst is because I have made things about myself when I have no place to do so. 

If I take myself out of the center, God remains. He's strong enough to withstand the blame, wise enough to take on all the questions, good enough to tarry on with us in patience and gentleness. He's always been at the center but I try to stand with Him and take all that on myself. There's no way I can, and He knows that. Step back, child.

And finally, the peace again in the command to be still. There's no striving in the world worth losing peace over.  A spoiled child no longer, in humility I let go of what (as Audrey Assad sings) "was never mine to hold."

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