Learning Like a Mother

"You're not a bad mother because you don't know the solution."  Words of wisdom from my mom just a few minutes ago on a humbling phone call.

I was so proud of my son's bedtime ritual which was a labor of love.  Reading books at 6:45pm followed by prayers and perhaps a lullaby.  Lights out at 7:00pm and my little dreamer drifted to sleep. 

Since his scare this past weekend--another ball of wax not yet blogged about, but it involved my son sleeping facedown and perfectly content that way; a literal Divine intervention caused me to go in when I did--I haven't stopped worrying since.  He is now confined to his swing as far as sleeping arrangements go.  I am not thrilled about this and I wish he were back into his routine and sleeping safetly in his own bed, away from the noise of dinner being made or phone calls being answered.  My guilt compiles each time he wimpers and stirs out of his slumber as I tend to "shhhh"-ing and putting his soothie back in this mouth. 

The pain of my decision comes in a wave when I don't know the answer to how long this will go on.  For the moment I don't feel secure in letting him sleep on his own until he masters certain rolling techniques.  Yet I'm not sure when that will be, or if this is in actuality the real problem.

Only time will tell~*

Mommy-Tired

Feeling a bit edgy today.  Not sure why.  Perhaps I'm just feeling mommy-tired. 

I was finding myself a little frustrated that Marty wouldn't take his regularly scheduled naps today.  I felt like launching into a speech about "If I was in your shoes," but I didn't.  He may have not understand my point of view.  Afterall, he doesn't wear shoes.

Amid screaming tantrums and wailing--my son, not me--I was wondering if this was going to be "the" hill.  One of us was going down.  It would only be a matter of time...

I gave up. 

Daddy didn't exactly validate my efforts by prancing into the room sporting smiles to my weary, slap-happy son.  Marty was amused, producing a bi-polar display of emotions; anything to keep from dozing off.

My headache mounted as we got in the car to do errands.  He started his fuss-fest all over again.  "Why won't you sleep?!"  He didn't answer me.  Just as well.  And when I thought all hope had been lost he was out like a light before we left the drive.  An olympic record. 

Later tonight Marty put up a similar fight for his late afternoon nap.  Swings, songs, smiles, playing, rubbing and rocking would not soothe my angry hornet.  Patience defeated, I decided he wasn't going to nap a third time and reasoned that perhaps because he is turning 6 months this week, he might be settling into a 2-nap routine.  To my surprise, he nursed and fell fast alseep within minutes. 

Am I missing something here?  Everything I try doesn't work but left to his own natural self, he sleeps. 

Feeling mentally exhausted and worn out, I sighed and shook my head.  But how could I be upset at this angelic and peacefully content face settled before me?  I felt guilty that I wanted to scream out loud just a few moments prior. 

Perhaps I am just mommy-tired and need a few naps of my own.~*