Shift: The Beginning of This New Journey

I began to feel God draw me about 2 months ago. I could see the results during Christmastime. Something in me began to shift.

Very simply and in desperation for something more of God I began to get on my face. Sometimes it would be for 5 minutes or maybe even 2 minutes depending on if my kids interrupted me sooner. Stealing away to a quiet corner of the house for a moment to bow before my God and surrender the day to Him. This spiritual alignment felt as if God had become the chiropractor of my soul.

I could sense my spirit waking up. It had been lulled to sleep by the poison of distraction and insecurities for so long but I realized I was strong as I stood up. 

Little pieces of my day began to align along with my heart and mind. The mundane and frustrating began to have new meaning; so many divine opportunities lay before me. Some things began to have less meaning, like the all-night Netflix binges that had become a habit. I had a bit of an appetite now for these 'face-times' as I called them because I began to see a change in me as I met with God in these moments.

The atmosphere of my home began to change. I realized that I could set the spiritual mood in my house--that old saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" rings true! My kids, though still crazy energetic and defiant some days, actually do seem happier and more responsive to a mom at peace.

I had a new little campfire of God in my soul and I wanted to see God do even more. I began to join the Monday night prayer conference calls with some mom friends. Seeing God answer prayers left and right after you've prayed makes you bold; you want to ask your big God for big stuff and run to Him with any little thing too, because why not?

Our church started a fast beginning with Lent and the challenge was to give up anything for Lent that was distracting you from meeting with God. Well, I knew Netflix was a given but then I sensed that God wanted me to give up sleep.

Why sleep? I'm a mom and I need it. Did I hear right? Aside from all the cool stuff God was doing in my life I still woke up like a bear when my kids would get up early. I dreaded that creak of the bedroom door at 6:00 am. And I did not like the responses I erupted on my kids when they would interrupt my precious sleep.

So I gave it a whirl. Without Netflix to keep me up all night getting up earlier wouldn't be as assaulting to my countenance. Six o'clock in the morning I would get up and go into my walk-in closet and pray. (I literally have a prayer closet now.) Sometimes God would get me up earlier, but always knowing I am being drawn by Him to come. (And I'm excited to come.) The closet was a secret meeting place, nobody knew but me and God.

Then the day came where I could no longer keep all this covert. Before the day began I was in my prayer closet meeting with God and I could feel the fire stirring in my heart and as I breathed out it was like a breath of Heaven. I could almost see it in my mind; full of fire. Then in my kitchen doing dishes--of all places--fire fell from Heaven and consumed my heart. I felt as if I was trying to contain an explosion in my soul, and I couldn't keep this quiet any longer. I didn't even realize what was happening so I started texting some of my mom friends trying to describe what was now all ablaze inside of me. The campfire I had was as if God had come and poured gas all over it. And it was spreading. 

Later I read in Luke 3:10, "He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." With fire. I have the Holy Spirit, I was missing the other part.

The past couple weeks have been intense but totally Spirit led living with this new fire to seal what's being restored inside my life. My home is now a place of peace despite what toddler and preschool chaos can create. We are still on Holy ground.

For a bit I thought I might be going crazy. God whispered "Can you be a little crazy for Me?" I feared becoming "that chick." But I'm His chick, with more authority and fruit of His spirit than I have ever seen in my entire life. This is who I was made to be; fully alive in Him. 

I could write a short novel about the past couple weeks of how I've seen God work in and through me in various ways but I will save that for a different blog post or for you over coffee--because you want to know! But I wanted to show you what it can mean to seek and find the God of the universe. He meets you in closets and kitchens and dwells in human hearts. And He sings to us "Come, and know Who I am. Be filled up and poured out again. Come."~*